and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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