I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
We have started to decorate penises.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
