D3 body, D1 cock
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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