What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
handjob tips. give me some.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize