Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
