Dual....:-)
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
tell me about the fingering
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
