i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Randomize
