so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
