If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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