Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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