I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
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I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
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Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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