i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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