what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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