Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
