is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
