Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
and you fell through a lawn chair
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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