We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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