So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
