Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
