Where is the hickey?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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