idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
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just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
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he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
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