Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
