Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
