You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
