I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
