After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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