the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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