I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Girls should come with a carfax report
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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