You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
