that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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