I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
