C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
