We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
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You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
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