u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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