Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
