she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
im holly from the hills drunk
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
