Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize