i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
