Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I need to stop coming to work sober
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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