Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
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