she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
