If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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