i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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