her vagine was all disorganized.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
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