it wasn't lemon gatorade
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize