I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
