so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
