If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize