Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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