Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I AM VODKA MAN
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
