Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
