I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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