Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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