Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
The chlamydia really affected his face.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
