If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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