sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
