just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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