I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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